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to teach us all. - that's true. - hey, look. - [groaning] teacher, my partner is back on the bus. captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show, thank you very much, my name is jon stewart. we have put together a program for this very evening. our guest tonight david nassaw, author of the new book, the patriarch, the remarkable life and turbulent times of one joseph p kennedy. i threw in the" of one ". (laughter) thought it gave it a little more historical authority. but i know what you are are thinking, are you thinking where the hell you have been, what dow get ten days off for thanksgiving? what are you, a student at a boarding school? (laughter) yes, we do get ten days for thanksgiving. and no, student at a boarding school. although i do sleep in a budget bed and i am on a field hockey team. (laughter) its with a very fun week off. i spent it like i always do. i track down the turkey president obama pardoned and i brought him to justice! (laughter) just because-- (cheers and applause) i brought him to just
a number, you'll find out, that's wha what-- you should use that in one of your skits. (laughter) it's like seinfeld-- (laughter) so it's a little stressful. i like black friday. a lot of people don't like black friday, the day after thanks giving. i don't like it for the shopping. i like to do it because it is a great opportunity to take out the suppressed rage that my relatives help generate inside me. and then unleash that on complete strangers. (laughter) at a best buy, you know what i mean. so they know, i didn't pin the guy from the geek squad against the wall by his neck because i really cared they were out of 50 inch plasma tvs. i pinned him there because for some reason my family thought my brother-in-law cousin should carve the turkey that i spent all day cooking because he's been struggling. you know what? let me just say this-- you cook t you kferb carve it, jeff, that's just the way it [bleep] is. (cheers and applause) now all i need is to get a relative named jack. no. (laughter) anyway, enough about endless intractable struggles amongst people to share similar dna. let's talk
Search Results 0 to 3 of about 4 (some duplicates have been removed)